I was disappointed because I wasn't living life like in the New Testament.
But God gives each gifts and callings according to His purpose.
Maybe I don't have to be Paul, maybe I was never meant to be Paul, perhaps God doesn't want me to be Paul.
Paul himself would encourage me not to compare my faith walk to his, he'd encourage me to run the race, fix my
eyes on Christ.
So perhaps by removing comparison from the equation, doing what fills me with joy and peace, doing what I want,
which is more and more what God wants, as He renews my mind, that is how I fulfill my purpose best.
That's how I do the most for God, by fulfilling His role for me in His kingdom to the best of my ability.
Because the desire of our hearts is to fulfill our purpose.